We can all experience stressful and difficult times in our lives. Life can come with a multitude of adverse, new and confusing issues, symptoms and feelings. We might occasionally need nurturing, or we might be looking for an activity that completely takes us out of ourselves. Self-care, boosting our mood and boosting confidence is important at any times of our lives!
So, while we are experiencing changes in our lives, or just wanting to do something different, it is important to take some time to ourselves, to look after ourselves, to nurture and nourish ourselves.
When feeling a bit low, depressed if we don’t take these actions, we risk becoming ill, depressed or completely out of control and seriously affecting our mental health.
I wanted to look at some different ways of feeling good. Something out of the ordinary, having some fun, or really comforting and nurturing ourselves to help us feel better.
So read on, to find out how to live the good life!
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Safe & sensible self care
Establish a routine
When we feel unbalanced and unsettled, everything can feel overwhelming. Even the smallest tasks can feel unachievable, and unreachable. By establishing a routine, you allocate a certain amount of time for each of your days activities.
You know the things that you need to achieve in a day, so setting a schedule, allows you to reach your goals and get things done, without too much stress. Remember to always allocate some extra time at intervals during the day, to allow for hiccups, and so that the rest of the day goes smoothly.
Think of the positives
This is one of my mantras. Thinking positive all the time, is hard, almost impossible, especially when we are struggling with emotions or feeling low However if you change ‘think positive’ to ‘think of the positives’, then you realise that your day is not filled with doom and gloom and there are some good things happening in your life.
Take a note (literally writing them down helps) of any small positive things that happen during your day. They can be really simple points;
- someone smiled at you in the street
- your coffee tasted delicious this morning
- you heard your favourite song on the radio
- you had a good catch up with a friend
By writing them down, you soon see that there are plenty of positive things happening in your life. And it’s a great list to refer to, when you are having a bad day.
Pay more attention
When we are feeling low, depressed, frustrated or bored, our lives can feel monotonous. Same thing, day in, day out. And while this can feel the case, it is important to realise that (most) things we do serve a purpose;
- We eat to nourish our bodies
- We shower/bath to feel clean and look better
- We make the family dinner, to keep them healthy, well and satisfied
- We travel to work to earn money to be able to do things we want to do
Take one of your daily activities and really focus on it.
As you eat your dinner, feel the texture of the food in your mouth, concentrate on the different tastes, take a little more time to chew, think about the source of the food, could you prepare it differently next time. All of this will make you appreciate the fact, that you took time to prepare it, you will enjoy it more, and not resent having to do it every day.
As you make your children’s packed lunch, imagine them eating it, think about them surrounded by their friends, chatting away, having fun….
On your way to work, take note of your surroundings, noticing the landscape, the architecture of the buildings, the people you pass. Make it a journey, rather than a necessity.
Make your bed into a slumber haven!
If your bed is comforting, cosy and inviting, chances are, you will sleep better. Invest in a goose feather duvet, pure cotton sheets and a silk pillow case. Treat yourself to cosy (or sexy) pyjamas, so that you look forward to getting ready for bed. Finish off with This Works Pillow Spray, and you’ll want to spend all day in bed – how is that for self-care??!!
Cook reassuring comfort food
Cooking and eating comfort food, could be one of the ultimate self-care activities. Try a good old fashioned shepherds pie, simple but delicious macaroni cheese, an apple crumble for pudding, or even just savouring a well-made hot chocolate. If you feel like it, invite good friends over to enjoy the comforts of your home cooking with you.
Relaxing and re-charging self-care
The use of aromatherapy is a great way to self-care. There are so many uses for so many different issues. Pure essential oils have the ability to penetrate into the skin, when applied topically and if inhaled, they absorb through the membranes of the olfactory system. For loads more information and uses of essential oils, see my Using essential oils section, but try the following oils;
- Add a drop of Rose or Jasmine essential oil into your normal moisturiser for an indulgent boost.
- Use a couple of drops of Frankincense oil in a burner to relax and focus the mind.
- Add a few drops of Neroli to your body lotion. Neroli is good at encouraging cell renewal, so will brighten dull skin and help with stretch marks and scar tissue etc, while the scent also helps to uplift and relieve some feelings of depression.
- Burn a few drops of Sandalwood when you feel anxious, nervous, or have trouble sleeping. Sandalwood is a relaxing oil and acts as a sedative.
Check out my SHOP for essential oils to buy
Have a massage
Nothing says self-care like a massage! A body massage has many, many therapeutic benefits, to help us feel and look better. A body massage will increase the blood circulation, which in turn, feeds all the organs and tissues of the body. This makes every organ in the body work better and the cells and tissues are able to reproduce more effectively. This keeps us healthy, enabling us to function much better.
Make your bathroom into a sanctuary
Surround your bathtub with lit candles, sink into mounds of bubbles, and let your mind wander. Apply a luxurious body lotion and spray yourself with your favourite fragrance. For a truly aromatic experience use This Works Neroli & Orange candles, Neals Yard Aromatic bubbles and E’spa Bergamot & Jasmine body lotion & a liberal spray of Jo Malone Lime, Basil & Mandarin Cologne (My personal favourite fragrance).
Have a movie night. Choose some classic films; Casablanca, Roman Holiday or Brief Encounter. Or choose comedies if you need uplifting; Bridesmaids, Tootsie or There’s something about Mary. Make a big bowl of popcorn, and curl up with your dog (or other relevant pet or partner or friends!)
Fun & laughter self-care
Listening to music has got to be one of the ultimate feel-good activities we can do! Whether it be just listening to your favourite song to give you an instant uplift, or compiling a playlist of lots of different favourites to give you you a consistent and day long boost. Sing out loud, at the top of your voice – even if, like me, you can’t hold a tune – and let the music take over all your other feelings and issues.
The phrase laughter is the best medicine is so true. Find something to laugh at. Or someone to laugh with. Do you have a group friends that you spend time with that always make you laugh? Are there particular YouTube or TikTok clips that you find funny – Google some to see what makes you smile.
Or watch something that really makes you laugh – or at least smile. Some of my recomendations (I apologise if we don’t have the same sense of humour!)
- Miranda – BBC I player. A portrait of a kooky, quirky, strong, often single woman, who rarely gets it right but has so much fun in the process of getting it wrong!
- Grownups 1 & 2 – Netflix. Adam Sandler and friends show that life as a grown up is not always easy but fun can be had!
- Modern Family – Netflix
- Schitts Creek – Netflix
- Fleabag – BBC I player
Dance when no-ones watching!
When a particular piece of music comes on and you feel your hips start to sway and and your feet start to tap. Get some time alone and blast that music out! Move around like you just don’t care, make up a dance routine, sing out loud to it, but just have fun!! It’s a form of exercise, so will get your blood circulation moving so that everything in your body will work better and more effectively, which in turn will help us feel loads better!
- Most songs from The Greatest Showman soundtrack
- Mucho Mambo by Shaft
- Uptown Funk – Bruno Mars
Take afternoon tea
Take high tea, at a posh hotel. Decadent, indulgent, fun and delicious! Take some friends and fill up on cucumber sandwiches, scones and pastries. Dress up and make it a real treat!
Cool & confident self-care
Wear a red lipstick
There’s something about a woman who wears red lipstick that just exudes confidence! Even if its completely out of your comfort zone, give it a go. Find a shade that suits you and step out in it! Looking confident is half the battle – if we look confident, and a red lip seems to do this, we feel more confident. And if we feel more confident, we feel better overall.
- Dark skin – go for deep reds, or reds with blue undertones. Wines and berry colour reds will also compliment darker skin. Try The Body Shop, Colour Crush lipstick in Canberra Red.
- Olive skin – coral and poppy shades of red – yellow or orange undertones – will suit an olive complexion. Try Charlotte Tilbury, K.I.S.S.I.N.G in Coral Kiss.
- Fair skin/blond hair – need a bright red with a blue undertone. A berry tone also suits. Try Clarins Jolie Rouge Velvet in deep red
- Fair skin/red hair – a red with a blue undertone will suit this colouring. try Clinique Pop Lip Colour in Cherry Pop
Go to the cinema on your own during the day
There’s something really liberating about doing an activity such as this alone. And having the confidence to do it, is even more liberating. Go during the day, when it’s quieter, relax and enjoy your time alone!
Stop hating your body
Buy a journal, with white, unlined paper and write down anything that comes into your mind – anything. Your thoughts, your feelings, your desires, your plans… something about doing this is incredibly cathartic, pleasing and freeing.
Always keep flowers in a vase by your bed
So simple and easy to do, but so refreshing and uplifting. Roses, lilies, freesias, all work well, as they look stunning and smell divine.
Make a list of what makes you happy – and do them
What makes you happy? Is that a difficult question to answer? Sit down and a make a list. (using the journal from earlier). If you focus on doing activities that you enjoy, you increase your chances of feeling better. If you can make a list, it gives you something to work through, focus on and keep your spirits up.
Such a simple self care, but take some time each day or at least each week to practise some mindfulness. Or practise some yoga, or breathing exercises. this takes no time at all, is such an easy way to bring focus, clarity and relaxation to your routine.